It has been at least three months and so much has happened to me during that time. Besides the news surrounding the pandemic, the debates and the ever-present election between both candidates, I was in a rough period of transition after being kicked out of my parents’ home after a falling out in mid-May. I did stay at a former co-worker’s place for two weeks, but it allowed me to rent my first living space.
My first rented space was a house that was basic in all terms and was rotting on the inside and out. The room I was in was the cleanest only due to my cleanliness, but the other places in the house suffered from garbage, dust, mud, and the worst case of bug infestation I’ve ever dealt with. There wasn’t a day when I didn’t deal with large cockroaches, bed bugs, silverfish, ants, flies or maggots (yes, maggots. It was THAT bad).
It also didn’t help that I was the only female roommate there. The other five to six roommates were older men and three were heavy smokers, so I also had to deal with cigarette smoke during times when I wanted to sleep. But it was after finding out that one of the chain smokers had a huge drinking problem and me calling the police that led to both of us fighting that caused me to pack my car during a rainy day and flee the place after only staying for a month there.
After staying at a hotel for the night, I moved to where I’m currently at now. It’s a room in someone’s house and I’m not liking the house owner since her demeanor and behavior reminds me of my mother’s (control freak, intimidating and violation of personal space) before being kicked out. But the silver linings are that there’s hardly a bug problem, there are two friendly dogs and I have a slightly stable environment to return to until I find another place.
But this period has been hard on me mentally. There were days where I would be randomly angry at not having the financial means to live wherever it was safest and days where I would cry in despair at how tough it was to survive on very little. But I’ve been trying to take stock of the little things that bring a smile to my face such as my co-workers at both of my jobs and a sunset that appeared during one of my closing shifts.
I also explored in new areas for quiet spaces to sit and just be. I did find one park near my second job in the Riverside/Avondale area of Jacksonville, FL and it was relaxing to watch the squirrels scurry about looking for food. Plus, there were tall trees about and the birds’ sounds were wonderful.
Taking stock of little blessings here and there really helps with dealing with whatever life wants to throw at me. I’m sure I’ll get my own place, but it takes money and time. Until then, I’ll continue to push forward and enjoy the moments of peace I find or create.